From the desk of Hitsugaya Toushiro
by TwitchyKid
Summary: If you do choose to read this story, please read from back to front. My later stories might be better than my first and also because theres lots of grammer and spelling mistakes in the first few. Hitsugaya oneshots. T to be safe but really K plus.
1. Matsumoto and Work

Facts of Hitsugaya Toushiro

He can't remember the last time his fuk-taichou, Matsumoto did her paperwork and the reason

_why _is because she _never had done it!_

He recalls her best attempts to escape work and for some reason always succeeded. One day she had

came into Hitsugaya's office with a wide smile on her face. She had bet Renji a bottle of sake that

Rukia wants to marry Ichigo. Two days later, Ichigo proposed to looked like she was

concentrating hard and said she would have to think about it, but a second later she said, "Oh, alright

since you asked!" Matsumoto jumped on the couch and pulled out a bottle of sake. After a long drink

she asked, " Aren't you going to congratulate me??"Then an idea stuck the white haired boy... He

started to get up and in a strange enthusiastic voice cheered, " Yes! This is wonderful Matsumoto!! And

here's your trophy and medal." Hitsugaya dumped a load of paper work and a pen on Matsumoto.

"Ugh.." groaned Matsumoto and she thought of something. Getting up, she started to loosen the white

belt that held her robe against her. Hitsugaya looked up to see Matsumoto starting to take off her robe.

"MATSUMOTO!! SHOWING YOUR HUGE CHEST ISN'T GOING TO GET THE PAPERWORK

DONE!!" Hitsugaya commanded covering his eyes. "Then why don't you close that gap in between

your fingers.." Matsumoto commented dryly. The young taichou pointed at the stack of paperwork and

his eyes said get it done. Matsumoto rolled her eyes but seated herself on the floor and picked up the

pen. Hitsugaya went back to doing his work but 10 seconds later, Matsumoto cheered, "DONE!! Wow

that was quick! I don't understand why you always complain about it." Hitsugaya looked up in

amazement. Then Matsumoto started getting up to leave until Hitsugaya realized something...

WHERE'S THE FINISHED WORK????? "MATSUMOTO!!!"

But she was already shunpo-ing her way to the nearest bar. A little while later Hitsugaya had found

the trophy and medal stashed into the cushions of the sofa.

_Sorry if it wasn't good. This is my first fan-fic and I tried really hard. To tell you the truth, I'm still in elementary school. So my grammar isn't that good. Thanks and review._


	2. Bad mood

Facts of Hitsugaya Toushiro

He is extremely easy to annoy and Matsumoto always is able to make Hitsugaya turn red.

One time Hitsugaya was in a really bad mood. The 11th devision taichou, Zaraki Kenpachi had headed

out into the real world with his fuk-taichou and there was no one to do the paper work and who would

be better to ask than the taichou next door? Zaraki never did the paperwork so he took the chance to

dump in all on Hitsugaya. After all, if a fight happened, what can a little white haired midget do?

So Hitsugaya sighed to himself and started chipping away at the paperwork and was happy for the

peace and quiet. As if by curse suddenly the loudest person popped up, Matsumoto, Hitsugaya's

fuk-taichou screaming, " TAICHOU! Come and drink with me and Renji, you little midget!"

Matsumoto was obviously drunk or else she would never call him that. Toushiro's teal eyes flashed at

Matsumoto and she seemed to snap out of her drunkenness. "Matsumoto I have a lot of work to do so be

quiet!" glared the young taichou. Matsumoto was taken aback by her sudden taichou's rage. So then

started flipping through a magazine and noisily making loud sounds of paper rustling. Toushiro's face

twitched at the noise and started yelling for it to quiet down. Then Matsumoto went to a little fridge

that was kept in the office and started making a butter sandwich. As she was buttering, she stopped for

a second and looked at Toushiro and asked, " Am I buttering too loud for you?"

_Soooo... How was it? I know it's short but I thought it was funny! Please review!_


	3. Fruit Punch

From the desk of Hitsugaya Toushiro

His most embarrassing moment is no longer on paper because Hitsugaya personally had Byakuya use his shikai on it and burned the remains. Then buried the ashed 10 feet deep.

_At the real world:_

All the high level Shinigami had been sent to the real world because Aizen had sent dozens of Arranca Kankura Town and Ichigo couldn't do it all by himself. After everyone

kicked all the Arrancar's asses, Matsumoto had this great idea of getting drunk and going to a real world dance.

_At the dance:_

The dance was only for couples so everyone paired up. Hitsugaya with Hinamari, Rukia with Ichigo, Byakuya with Yoruichi, Zaraki with Soi Fong, Matsumoto with Renji, and

plenty of other couples. While they were dancing, Hitsugaya had found a craving for a real world juice called "fruit punch". In fact, he loved it so much, that he drank the whole

bowl! Then he really had to go to the bathroom. When he got there, the men's room was filled and Hitsugaya couldn't stand it anymore. He looked at the women's room and took a

step forward, but Rukia had came out so Hitsugaya immediately turned around and acted casual. As soon as Rukia left, Hitsugaya turned and went in. _So far so good. No one _

_here_. Hitsugaya went in one of the stalls, pulled down his pants and started going. _No one better come in and see my Pokemon boxers, even if they are signed by Pikachu!_

Then the door opened. Thinking fast Hitsugaya jumped and put 2 hands on one side of the stall and 2 feet on the other, putting pressure to stay there. The girls that came in were

Matsumoto and Hinamori.

"Rankiu-san... Were do you think Shiro-chan went?" Hinamori asked. A vein pulsed in Toushiro's head and almost blew his cover right then.

"The bathroom probably, he drank the whole bowl of fruit punch, maybe his hair will turn red tomorrow," Matsumoto thought. Then they stopped talking at the sound of metal

clinking. Hitsugaya wondered what that was and if by prayer he found out. The walls collapsed and there revealed a half naked taichou. Hinamori's eyes started to twitch

uncontrollably as she turned around to see an embarrassing sight. Matsumoto just started laughing like crazy as she saw her taichou in the girl's bathroom! Then someone else

walked in...

"HITSUGAYA-TAICHOU!!! WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING HERE!!!" as Soi Fong started to release her bankai.

_Afterwords:_

_ Matsumoto had done some wires pulled and got the video from the bathroom surviellence cam. When the got back to Soul Society, she sold a copy of the video for 5 bucks each!  
_


	4. Younger Brother

From the desk of Hitsguaya Toushiro

4.No one knows this but... Hitsugaya has a younger brother thats a Shinigami!

No one knows because he's been in the Academy for 10 years and isn't even half way through. So everyone assumed he wasn't related to the boy genius. Secretly he visited him every other week. His name was Hitsugaya Roushiro. One day Toushiro decided it was time for Matsumoto to meet his brother.

"I assure you, even though he seems really stupid, he can be really tough!" Toushiro told Matsumoto. She was still confused with Toushiro when he suddenly told her and dragged her off. As they opened the door to Roushiro's dorm, they saw him speaking to himself holding a needle and thread.

"This is the first needlepoint I've done with bunnies in them. Toushiro will like it!" Roushiro said. The taichou looked at Roushiro. Roushiro didn't even notice him. Toushiro started to release large amounts of spirit energy but Roushiro still didn't notice...

"This is suppose to be your brother?" gaped Matsumoto. Roushiro was taller than Toushiro but 10 years younger. He had orange hair and a puny zankputo.

"Roushiro! Is this a way to greet your older brother?" questioned Toushiro. Roushiro suddenly stuffed the needlepoint picture under the pillow and started lifting 2 pound weights.

"Whew! Great workout! Curled these heavy weights 5 times!" Roushiro cheered. Toushiro's eyes twitched.

"Roushiro, this is my fuk-taichou, Matsumoto Rankiu," introduced Toushiro. Roushiro just nodded a hello. "By the way, when do you have class?" asked Toushiro.

"I've been fired!" cried Roushiro.

"You mean suspended?" Toushiro wondered.

"Whatever."

"What happened?"

"I was really bored and there was this girl that was really bored, so I told her, let's go to the real world and run away together! She thought it was funny so she told her sensei who told a principle who told a captain and now I'm fired!"

"Suspended..."

"Whatever!"

"Harassment?"

"Stupidity!"

* * *

_Author's note: If I don't get 3 or 4 reviews, I'm not updating!_


	5. Hobbies

From the Desk of Hitsugaya Toushiro

5.He ACTUALLY had hobbies and things he enjoys doing besides paperwork!

1. He likes to read.

_Flashback:_

"_Taichou! Hinamori called and wants talk to you!" yelled Matsumoto._

"_Tell her I'm reading!" Hitsugaya screamed back._

"_She asks what are you reading!" Matsumoto asked_

"_How to survive with an annoying fuk-taichou." Hitsugaya answered but held up the book to see it was "Doggie come home"._

"_Ivanhoe," Matsumoto said into the phone receiver._

_End of Flashback_

2. He enjoys playing soccer in the real world

_Flashback:_

"_Toushiro kicks the ball towards the net!" the announcer yelled. "The goalie is looking confused as the ball comes down towards his head! WHOA and it bonks right of _

_his head and off six other players!" A man comes up to the announcer and whispers something. "This just in. Seven bonks off player's heads are a new record! Team _

_Toushiro WINS and sets off a new record of seven bonks beating the old record by 2 bonks."_

_End of Flashback_

3. He likes to write stories

_Flashback:_

"_Matsumoto read this story will you?" Hitsugaya asked and handed her a slip of paper._

_A Sad Story by Hitsugaya Toushiro_

_...(The dots represent the story but I don't feel like writing it)_

_The end_

"_No offense taichou, but this story is dumb," Matsumoto said._

"_That's what makes it so sad..." Hitsugaya mumbled. "Send this to the magazine company anyway."_

_The next day:_

"_Did I get another rejection slip?"_

"_Yea.. It says, if you send us another one of your crappy stories, we'll publish your most embarrassing moment about the fruit punch! I don't think they like your story..." Matsumoto said._

"_Yea.. But I wonder how they know about the fruit punch..." Hitsugaya wondered. Matsumoto looked at the ceiling and whistled. _

"_I wonder. Should I file these with the others?" Matsumoto asked._

"_Sure," the taichou said glumly. He might enjoy writing but not everyone enjoys his writing._

"_Don't feel bad. Renji gets them all the time." Matsumoto smiled as she opened a closet full of the same rejection slips._

"_Renji gets rejection slips from magazines?" Hitsugaya questioned._

"_No from girls he tries to date on line," Matsumoto laughed._

_At Renji's house/ On the computer screen_

"_No way I'd go out with you, you tattooed freak!" _

_End of Flashback_

* * *

_Please review! I enjoy writing stories like Hitsugaya but I won't publish them if people think they're bad! Sorry had to edit, found a lot of spelling mistakes  
_


	6. Interview

From the desk of Hitsuguaya

6. Well, this isn't exactly a fact, it's an interview with Hitsugaya with questions that have short answers. Enjoy )

Me: Good morning, Shiro-chan!

Hitsguaya: It's Hitsugya -_taichou_...

Me: And that leads us to our first question! Why are you so uptight about everyone calling you Shiro-chan? You do have white hair, don't you realize?

Hitsuguaya: Because it is not proper and everything must be done properly. Such as paperwork!

Me: Chill... You're beginning to sound like a military commander or something. Anyway, there's been something I've always wanted to ask you, what kind of hair gel do you use?

Hitsuguaya: I remember buying my hair gel in the real world during a trip to eliminate some Menos. I was walking past a stationary store and found some white sticky stuff on sale. I poured a little on my hand it made my fingers stick together. It was called something on the lines of Elmer's glue... I don't recall it exactly, but it was a strange place to sell such good hair gel.

Me: I'm sure that clears up a lot of questions... Perhaps the audience will explain what "Elmer's Glue" is. On the next question. I don't believe anyone has hear you laugh. Have you ever laughed out loud?

Hitsuguaya: No. I have never laughed out loud and I never will. It's bad for discipline. If someone tells you they've heard me laugh, I want their name, rank, and squad number NOW!

Me: Have you ever a crush?

Hitsuguaya looks at me like im crazy but then starts blushing into a deep shade of red.

Hitsuguaya:: W-well... Ummm... N-n-no not really. I mean what makes you think I would fall in love with anybody. I'm still 300 years old.

Me: Awwww... Spill it! Who do you love?

Hitsuguaya aware he had lost all sense of protocol, forced the red in his cheeks down and turned hard again,

Hitsugaya: No one.

But his eyes told the real story.

Me: Fine be that way. This is another question we've all been itching at. Why do you, a strict taichou and a genius pick a lazy and drunk girl for you fuku-taichou?

Hitsuguaya: No reason...

Me: Oh come on! You are so un cooperative. We'll convince you next chapter then!

* * *

A/N: If you guys don't like the interveiw style, I can just go back to writing facts, but if you like it send in questions! 


	7. Stupid

From the desk of Hitsugaya

A/N: I'm not sure about this one.. It doesn't seem that great, but whatever... I was reading through some of my other stories and I think I don't want to continue the series. The first beginning chapters aren't that great and usually people only read the first chapter.

8. He will never admit he is stupid at times.

"Ooohhhh..." Hitsugaya groaned as he nursed a black eye. _Why does the living world call it a black eye? It's hardly black at all. Mostly blue and purple._ The bruise took up almost half of his face and made his teal eye shine like a star. As he sat in a restaurant with a set of chili egg rolls in front of him, Matsumoto walked in.

"Nice shiner, taichou!" Matsumoto called out to him. "How did that happen? Walk into a door or Zaraki?"

"Sit down and I'll tell you about it," Hitsugaya said.

"Yummmm...I was hoping you'd say that!" But then Matusmoto instantly spit out the egg roll.

"Yuck! Chili? You know how I hate it when you order chili!"

"I was fighting two Espada, one was number 3 and the other was 2. They tried to corner me but with my captain level talent, I owned them, but got a bruise.

"Hi guys! What happened to you eye, Hitsugaya-taichou?" Renji and Kira greeted as they walked in. They both sat down and took an egg roll.

"I was fighting a Vasto Lorde and it wanted my prize possession."

"What would you have that a Vasto Lorde wants?" Renji asked as he and Kira both bit into the egg rolls.

"Me, of course!"

"This is disgusting! Hitsugaya-taichou! Don't order chili all the time, it's gross." Kira complained. Just then, Hinamori walked in.

"Shiro-chan! Are you okay?" Hinamori asked as she walked in.

"Yeah, I'm okay. I was just fighting Tousen but I completely kicked his butt."

"Hey! I thought you said you were fighting a Vasto Lorde?!" Kira argued.

"Right! That and Tousen."

"That's hard to believe, Shiro-chan."

"What? That I beat Tousen single-handedly and a Vasto Lorde? Do you doubt my captain level powers?"

"Noooo...That you just didn't bump into a door..." Hinamori whispered almost afraid that she was making fun of Toushiro.

"UGH! I DID NOT RUN INTO A DOOR!!!!" Hitsugaya screamed, threatening to release his Bankai. Everyone backed into a corner as Hitsugaya stood up to leave. As he was opening the door, someone outside had opened it and slammed it into Hitsugaya's face.

"Owww..." Hitsugaya moaned as a second black eye started appearing.

"HAHAHAHA!!!!" Everyone laughed and rolled on the ground.

"And that was the same door that got me coming in too..." Hitsugaya whispered to himself.


	8. Revisit

From the desk of Hitsugaya Toushiro

For those of you who haven't read the beginning, Roushiro is Toushiro's stupid brother. Here's what happened after his suspension.

* * *

An average day at Roushiro and Co. Dorm. Roushiro sat cross-legged on his bunk bed and was doodling on a piece of paper.

"Hi, Roushiro! How are the classes?" Toushiro casually said as he walked in.

"Classes? Those classes can really ruin your grade average..." Roushiro responded. Toushiro twitched his left eye at him but continued.

"You know what they're all going to say about you when you graduate from here?" Toushiro said.

"What?" Roushiro was curios and jumped off the top bunk of his dorm but misplaced his footing and landed with his face flat on the floor. Toushiro just sighed but continued.

"You're going to be a day dumber than you should be!" and with that Toushiro walked off.

* * *

can't think of anything any more school ruins mky brain to come up with funny ideas...blame them... 


	9. Good Times

From the Desk of Hitsugaya Toushiro

* * *

Sitting at his desk, Hitsugaya remembers all the good times he's had... 

The place where Hinamori and Toushiro use to live:

"_Come on! HINAMORI! We're going to be late for class if you don't freaking hurry up!" _

"_But, Shiro-chan! I can't find my lunch box!" Hinamori yelled back._

"_Well, then use something else!" _

_Hinamori finally came out of the house 5 minutes later carrying a glass of milk, a ham sandwich on a plate, a yellow flower in a vase, and of course it was on a serving platter._

In the living world at Ichigo's empty house:

"_I wonder what this box does?" Toushiro asked himself. Ichigo had told him before he left that it shows movies and shows. He knew what a show was but what's a movie? Ichigo had also mentioned that a smaller box with buttons controls it. Toushiro wondered how great it could be if he had one of those small boxes to control Matsumoto! Then Toushiro pressed a button on the small box and the T.V flickered to life._

_Later-----Much later:_

"_Toushiro? You're still here?" Ichigo asked as he came home. "What are you watching?"_

"_Ichigo, thank spirits your back! I've been watching this show about a love story and something's worng."_

"_What?"_

"_This girl keeps calling after this guy named Kevin to come back,"_

"_So?"_

"_I've watched it twenty times and he still hasn't came back!"_

When Toushiro has a conversation with a spirit before sending it to Soul Society:

"_You're soooo cool!" A girl soul shreiked. "Shunpo is sooooo cool! You could go everywhere!"_

_Toushiro mumbled something._

"_Well... I guess not if you hate traveling..." the girl soul said._

At the 10th Division Headquaters:

"_That's it!" Matsumoto said and stalked off. "I'm going to the bar to get drunk!"_

"_You know what the trouble is?!!" Hitsugaya was in full argument mode now._

"_What!?"_

"_THAT YOU JUST CAN'T TAKE DESTRUCTIVE CRITICISM!" Hitsugaya snapped._

* * *

_Thanks for reading and please REVIEW!!!!!! _


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